Hello. My name is Fe. By the late 90’s, I was, by most measures, a successful pastor, and had been for over twenty years. But in 1998, several events in rapid-fire succession would begin to change everything. In January of that year, I took a trip to Honduras where I discovered that HIV was ravaging the younger men and women of their generation. I started an organization called Project HeartStrong to build a hospice facility for them to die in.
In that summer, a third student in my community took his own life. A friend and I co-founded The Community Response Team to stop the suicidal contagion in that high school.
A family crisis, along with other factors, led me to resign from pastoral ministry and discern a different vocational path for my future.
Hurricane Mitch, a category five storm, slammed into Honduras late October, killing 8,000 persons and rendering a million homeless. In early November, I founded an effort called Ohio Hurricane Relief for Central America, and was on the front lines in Honduras distributing food, medicine, and clothing. We outperformed the local Red Cross in that effort.
Three years later I, myself, was in need of help. I was between jobs, broke, going through a divorce, estranged by most of my family, and essentially homeless, with all my worldly possessions packed into my car. By November, 2003, the pressures had become so intense that I found myself at a counter to purchase a gun to take my life. I didn’t know whether I would survive, but, thankfully, a new day did dawn in my life.
With time, I gradually came to realize that I was engaged in a midlife awakening, a process of transformation, the reinvention of my life. I came to call myself a Second Day Person. In my Second Day a major shift in my orientation to people has occurred. Thoreau wrote that “the great mass of men live lives of silent desperation.” It is not only silent; it is largely invisible. Millions of people throng our temples, synagogues, and churches weekly who are suicidally desperate, estranged by friends and family members, abused by intimate partners, aging into oblivion, engaged in clandestine sexual relationships, or bearing a crushing burden of regret for some past indiscretion or criminal activity.
I now realize that I am not alone. Not everyone goes through the same kind of dark night that I did, but so many people today find themselves in desperate situations, alone, trapped, and in pain. These are the very persons that Jesus reached out to. Over the past 25 years, these have become my focus. I have founded a number of organizations and movements to address those needs. This website highlights five of those.
Below you will find the book Michelle Snyder and I wrote about the reinvention process titled Life, Death, and Reinvention. For those feeling trapped in pain, it is better to risk reinventing your life than taking your life.
The page titled Damaged Good challenges faith communities to explicitly welcome those who are often invisible and shunned, the kind of people Jesus adopted as family.
The page titled Orphaned Elders seeks to address a critical issue in our society today, the 1 in 5 adults over the age of 65 who will have no one to take care of them in their years of decline.
The page titled The Pattern encourages people of faith, particularly those who are struggling, to reflect on the life of Jesus as a template for their own human experience and developmental path.
Finally, the page Estranged Parents addresses an issue that has become a national epidemic, family estrangement in general, and parental estrangement in particular.
As human beings, we have all failed in a variety of ways, and we all bear the consequences. Guilt and shame should not be a life sentence. The good news of God’s love is that we all deserve to recover.
What is the most ignored aspect of the life of Jesus? In their new book, Michelle Snyder and Fe Anam Avis suggest that it is the period between his life as carpenter living in Capernaum and the beginning of his ministry as an itinerate preacher/healer. They have named this period of upheaval, temptation, and transformation “reinvention.”
Why does this matter? By naming reinvention as an authentic expression of discipleship, Snyder and Avis open up a hopeful possibility for hundreds of thousands of persons of faith who need a deep and significant change in their lives. In a book that is not only insightful but also practical and positive, they address what makes reinvention different from conversion and how to know when reinvention is the next path you need to choose, the five stages of reinvention and the critical steps you need to take during each stage, when it is time to relinquish and let go rather than engage in an endless and fruitless effort to restore an elusive past, how to deal with the places reinventors tend to get stuck, the inner critic, letting go, grief, suicidal thinking, fatigue and regret.
In Life, Death, & Reinvention, Michelle Snyder and Fe Anam Avis lend new language to an experience that many readers will find familiar: the “messy and ambiguous” process of reinventing one’s life. Through their rich reflections on of the stages of reinvention—contradiction, collapse, clarity, commitment, and coherence—Snyder and Avis paint readers a picture of what reinvention often looks like, and of the particular challenges and joys that come with it. If you are in the midst of reinvention, or if you care for someone who is, this book will be a valuable resource.
Leanna K. Fuller, Assistant Professor of Pastoral Care, Pittsburgh Theological Seminary
Fe Avis’s new devotional offers 56 thoughtful reflections for individuals navigating the challenges of Lived Experience, including those contemplating suicide or who have survived a suicide attempt. Designed as a beacon of hope and healing, the daily scripture readings are intended to offer guidance, comfort, and a sense of divine love and support.
Fe shares his personal experience with suicidal thinking, highlighting how it emerged during a stressful transition in his life. He argues for a holistic approach that considers the spiritual and emotional aspects of recovery, emphasizing the need for a slow and steady healing process.
The introduction uses the biblical story of Job to relate to the experience of suicidal thinking, emphasizing themes of unbearable loss, isolation, and eventual recovery. It stresses the importance of having honest conversations about suicidal experiences and the hope that comes from recovery. Fe suggests that suicidal thoughts often stem from overwhelming and inescapable pain, and recovery involves addressing this pain and fostering a sense of hope and purpose.
Each day presents a scripture passage followed by a reflection and a prayer. These readings encourage individuals to take steps toward healing, even in the midst of their pain, and to trust in God’s guidance and love. The reflections often draw parallels between biblical stories and the reader’s personal journey, offering insights into how spiritual teachings can aid in recovery.
A Second Day describes time when someone has found deliverance from the grip of suicidal thinking. There are many more Second Day people living among us than we may realize. They are at work and in worship and in classrooms. They are within circles of friends and within families. Yet society continues to believe that suicidal thinking is rare and shameful.
A central theme of this book that threads through every chapter is that suicidal thinking is often a response of a benighted Soul, struggling to find authentic expression in communities that are hostile or indifferent to its existence. The Soul has a voice that will not be denied and a wisdom that is sound. Perhaps as we begin to give dignity to that wisdom we can begin to redirect the suicidal impulse to its more constructive purpose: transformation.
To see life from both sides now” is a rare gift. To share that insight with others is a blessing. To create new language to engage in conversation on suicidal thinking transforms the lives of individuals and communities. This is the heart of A Second Day, a book that lifts the soul and quickens the heart.
The Very Reverend Rebecca L. McClain, Transition Consultant
Helping people find their best minds in times of personal crisis.